Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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