Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
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There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
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this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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