Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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