Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
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TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
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I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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