Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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