apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize