Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
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If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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