i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize