ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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