I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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