whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize