if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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