i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize