Texts From Last Night

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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.

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  (501): He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer. http://tfl.nu/ubeq
  Replies (31) Good night (3055) Bad night (1178) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks

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  (484): Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah (215): Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks http://tfl.nu/j7v7
  Replies (11) Good night (3510) Bad night (751)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"

  (571): View more from Virginia

  you make me proud to be your friend

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  (703): Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe" (571): you make me proud to be your friend http://tfl.nu/nyf8
  Replies (65) Good night (4663) Bad night (531)
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  (831): View more from California

  Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?

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  (831): Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21? http://tfl.nu/gpnq
  Replies (37) Good night (6651) Bad night (1136) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.

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  (973): you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere. http://tfl.nu/70ri
  Replies (32) Good night (1154) Bad night (4993) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina

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  (408): He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina http://tfl.nu/ro7i
  Replies (27) Good night (849) Bad night (8600) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting

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  (619): the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting http://tfl.nu/ov15
  Replies (9) Good night (1370) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.

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  (301): A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero. http://tfl.nu/wa7o
  Replies (17) Good night (4888) Bad night (557)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.

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  (904): stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit. http://tfl.nu/ijlk
  Replies (5) Good night (1812) Bad night (419) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...

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  (440): Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?... http://tfl.nu/7sdw
  Replies (6) Good night (599) Bad night (872) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"

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  (616): Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son" http://tfl.nu/3jto
  Replies (1) Good night (440) Bad night (595)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'

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  (361): I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh' http://tfl.nu/gd1h
  Replies (4) Good night (452) Bad night (1129) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober

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  (606): Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober http://tfl.nu/4i83
  Replies (3) Good night (688) Bad night (302) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.

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  (850): I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet. http://tfl.nu/wt7c
  Replies (3) Good night (500) Bad night (187)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"

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  (512): Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants" http://tfl.nu/ccmr
  Replies (3) Good night (508) Bad night (129) Order T-Shirt

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