Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize