Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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