I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
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I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
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Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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