He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He felt like a one man threesome
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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