My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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