just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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