Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I party with great urgency now.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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