Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
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Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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