Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
my liver is dry heaving
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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