i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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