Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
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I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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