After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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