I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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