Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god it's open bar.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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