I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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