Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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