Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize