i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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