I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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