brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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