You smell like a Billy Joel song
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize