Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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