New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize