just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
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