you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
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Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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