C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
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What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
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Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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