I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize