I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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