I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
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they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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