Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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