Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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