next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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