a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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