It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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