At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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