they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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